Devorah Zealot Soodak
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Thursday, 17 February 2011

Carpe Diem: The Jewish Zealot Epileptic Leper Contemplates Her Own Mortality

Devorah Zealot Soodak, nee Deborah Ellen Soodak, aka Debbie Soodak Click to read more... image from psychout.typepad.com Devorah Zealot Soodak, nee Deborah Ellen Soodak, aka Debbie Soodak, is contemplating her mortality. She just got some very bad news. She has emphysema and this is what she has to say.

 

 

 

Pathology of lung showing centrilobular emphysema characteristic of smoking. Click to read more... image from upload.wikimedia.org Her living conditions are intolerable. She came to Philadelphia breathing under her own power. Now she sleeps sitting up for at most a couple of hours at a time because she can't breathe.

The place is full of cigarette smoke. There is no way to avoid it. There is construction dust and paint fumes and the workers refuse to open the windows and clean up after themselves.

H&E stained lung tissue of end-stage emphysema. Click to read more... image from upload.wikimedia.org I don't want to die in this room in the Gross Out Hotel. It's not the ending I imagined for myself. I have always tried to take good care of myself. Too bad other people had better ideas.

I did used to smoke, but I quit for good 11 years ago. I was "smart" about smoking when I did smoke if that's at all possible. I smoked fewer, better cigarettes. I smoked unfiltered cigarettes so I wouldn't get the fiberglass in my lungs. I also didn't smoke steadily. I quit several times for several years.

Axial CT image of the lung of a person with end-stage bullus emphysema. Click to read more... image from upload.wikimedia.org I'm sure the smoking contributed. So did living on a heavily trafficked street. You wouldn't believe the black gunk that settled onto everything. It was hard to clean even with soap and water. I inhaled that black gunk for fifteen years.

Then there were the gas stoves, especially the one with pilot lights. I was smart; I downloaded the specs from the stove and cut the gas to the pilot lights.  I went green and improved my health in one fell swoop. It helped, I'm sure,  but it was too little too late.

Micrograph demonstrating emphysema (left of image - large empty spaces) and lung tissue with relative preservation of the alveoli (right of image). H&E stain. Click to read more... image from upload.wikimedia.org Then there was 9/11. My asthma (at least thats what I thought it was) got suddenly worse.  Much worse. I started relying on an inhaler. That may have been the beginning of the end.

My problems have been exacerbated by my mostly illegal stints in pscyhiatric institutions. Living in filthy conditions with choked down air supply to save money. Being forced to eat food and take medicines to which I was allergic. This ratcheted up my level of inflammation to the point where I was living on 02 and nebulizer treatments. This results in permanent pulmonary damage.

Flow-Volume loop showing successful FVC maneuver. Positive values represent expiration, negative values represent inspiration. The trace moves clockwise for expiration followed by inspiration. Click to read more... image from upload.wikimedia.org Then there were my stints in terrible housing. New York State are to blame for that. They put me in harms way. My emergency room and inpatient medical hospital records will attest to that. I am tired of taking care of myself and getting my symptoms into remission and then being forced to live in terrible conditions that make me sick.

My escape to Philadelphia is an ironic one. Once again, I am in harms way. I can't get ID because I don't have proof of residence. I am waiting for a bank statement to come in the mail so I can have proof. It was supposed to come Tuesday or Wednesday.  I am praying that it arrives today.

Figure 4a: The X-ray crystal structure of native human antitrypsin (pdb code 1QLP).[35] The five-stranded A-sheet is in red, the six-stranded B-sheet in green, and the four-stranded C-sheet in yellow. α-helices are shown in cyan. The RCL is at the top of the molecule in magenta. Two functionally-important regions of the serpin, the breach and the shutter, are labelled. Click to read more... image from upload.wikimedia.org I cannot secure housing for myself without ID. New York State were supposed to help me with ID. They went back on their word and did nothing. I can't tell you how many people I saw them help do this. I was due the same.

So I've been searching for informtion on emphysema. I'm very unhappy with what I find. Dying of pulmonary insufficiency is my worst nightmare.

Please don't for get to click the pretty picture of the search. And don't forget that there's always more after the search, so please finish reading the post. I always save some little presents for last.

 

Emphysema - Google Search Click the pic to run the search, image from www.psychout.typepad.com

 

Here's the screen scrape of the search. It's a little internet "freeze frame." Those are live links so click away.  You can even type your own search into the search box and run it if you like. Have fun and don't forget to finish reading the post.

Screen reader users, click here to turn off Google Instant.

About 4,580,000 results (0.10 seconds) 

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Search Results

  1. Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (Emphysema)
    Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) is one of the most common lung diseases. It makes it difficult to breathe. There are two main forms of COPD: Chronicbronchitis, defined by a long-term cough with mucus; Emphysema,...
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  2. Emphysema - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Emphysema is a long-term, progressive disease of the lungs that primarily causes shortness of breath. In people with emphysema, the tissues necessary to ...
    en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emphysema - Cached - Similar

  3. Emphysema - MayoClinic.com

    Emphysema — Comprehensive overview covers symptoms, causes, treatment and prevention of this serious lung disorder.
    www.mayoclinic.com/health/emphysema/DS00296 - Cached

  4. Emphysema Symptoms, Causes, and Treatment by eMedicineHealth.com

    Emphysema is a long-term, progressive disease of the lungs that primarily causes ...Emphysema is included in a group of diseases called chronic obstructive ...
    www.emedicinehealth.com › home › topics az list - Cached - Similar

  5. Emphysema Causes, Symptoms, Diagnosis, Treatment, and Prognosis ...

    Feb 15, 2011 ... Emphysema is a progressive disease that usually manifests itself in patients after 50 years of age. Emphysema is a subtype of chronic ...
    www.medicinenet.com › ... › lungs az list › emphysema index - Cached - Similar

  6. Emphysema | Lung Disease | Lung Cancer | Bronchitis | Stop Smoking ...

    Welcome to Emphysema Guide to emphysema information, causes of emphysema, stop smoking, lung disease and lung cancer treatment options and cures where you ...
    emphysema.org/index.html - Cached

  7. Emphysema: MedlinePlus

    Emphysema is a type of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) involving damage to the air sacs (alveoli) in the lungs. As a result, your body does not ...
    www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/emphysema.html - Cached - Similar

  8. Welcome to the National Emphysema Foundation

    Emphysema and Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) are related lung conditions that are caused by many years of cigarette smoking ("smoker's lung").
    www.emphysemafoundation.org/ - Cached

  9. Emphysema - Symptoms, Diagnosis, Treatment of Emphysema - NY Times ...

    Aug 3, 2007 ... Emphysema is a lung disease that involves damage to the air sacs (alveoli) in... Cigarette smoking is the most common cause of emphysema. ...
    health.nytimes.com › Times Health Guide › e - Similar

  10. Emphysema - Symptoms, Treatment and Prevention

    In emphysema (from the Greek word for "inflation"), the walls of the alveoli ( air sacs) in the lung are destroyed and lose elasticity (the ability to spring ...
    www.healthscout.com/ency/68/149/main.html - Cached - Similar

  11. Emphysema: eMedicine Pulmonology

    Oct 21, 2010 ... Overview: Emphysema is chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD).Emphysema is defined pathologically as an abnormal permanent ...
    emedicine.medscape.com › ... › Obstructive Airways Diseases - Cached - Similar

  12. News for emphysema

  13. Kamada, Prolor report positive trial results
    2 days ago
    Today, Kamada Ltd. (TASE: KMDA) reported interim results of the Phase III trial for its aerosolized AAT for the treatment of congenital emphysema. ...
    Globes - 14 related articles
    		14.

  14. Books for emphysema

    Lung Volume Reduction Surgery for Emphysema -Henry Eric Fessler, John J. Reilly, John J. Reilly Jr. - 2003 - 536 pages
    It explores the epidemiology of emphysema, the management of complications and ...
    Natural Therapies for Emphysema and COPD ... - Robert J. Green - 2007 - 196 pages
    The first book to address emphysema and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD ...
    Radiology of chest diseases -Sebastian Lange, Geraldine Walsh, Geraldine Walsh (FRCR.) - 2007 - 377 pages
    Page 110: Emphysema may lead to significant respiratory impairment with resulting ...
    books.google.com
Preview image

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via www.google.com

 

Smog is a type of air pollution; the word "smog" is a portmanteau of smoke and fog. It is a problem in a number of cities and it harms human health. Ground-level ozone is especially harmful for senior citizens, children, and people with heart and lung conditions such as emphysema, bronchitis, and asthma. Click to read more... image from upload.wikimedia.org I'm trying to save my life. I need help and I've nowhere to turn. I see the pulmonologist on Monday. Maybe I can get my disability changed and get the help I need. I can pray

Baruch Hashem. Hoshia na.

 

Devorah Zealot Soodak, nee Deborah Ellen Soodak, aka Debbie Soodak Click to read more... image from api.photoshop.com

 

Devorah Zealot Soodak, née Deborah Ellen Soodak, aka Debbie Soodak

PSYCH OUT! Escape From the Lunacy Of the New York State Office Of Mental Health NYS OMH www.psychout.typepad.com/ 

P.S. Devorah/Zealot says: Hello! to her friends at OMH www.omh.state.ny.us/ and NJ DMHS www.state.nj.us/humanservices/dmhs/ and Jewish Family Service www.jfsatlantic.org/ 
P.P.S. Maybe the people at the Chilling Effects Clearinghouse could tell the demented epileptic lunatic zealot what's going on with her posts desaparecidos?

 


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File:Centrilobular emphysema 865 lores.jpg

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File:Centrilobular emphysema 865 lores.jpg
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Description
English: Gross pathology of lung showing centrilobular emphysema characteristic of smoking. Closeup of fixed, cut surface shows multiple cavities lined by heavy black carbon deposits.
Français : Pathologie de poumon montrant des emphysèmes centrolobulaires caractéristiques d'un fumeur. La vue rapprochée de la coupe montre de multiples cavités parcourues d'abondants dépôts de noir de carbone.
Date

1973
Source

http://phil.cdc.gov/phil_images/20040517/4/865_lores.jpg
Author

Dr. Edwin P. Ewing, Jr.
Permission
(Reusing this file)

Copyright Restrictions: None - This image is in the public domain and thus free of any copyright restrictions. As a matter of courtesy we request that the content provider be credited and notified in any public or private usage of this image.

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Public domain This image is a work of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, part of the United States Department of Health and Human Services, taken or made during the course of an employee's official duties. As a work of the U.S. federal government, the image is in the public domain.

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current 22:11, 30 March 2009 Thumbnail for version as of 22:11, 30 March 2009 3,000×2,007(6.6 MB) Tm (uploaded higher resolution)
  08:51, 31 May 2006 Thumbnail for version as of 08:51, 31 May 2006 700×468(81 KB) Patho ({{Information| |Description=ID#: 865 Description: Gross pathology of lung showing centrilobular emphysema characteristic of smoking. Closeup of fixed, cut surface shoes multiple cavities lined by heavy black carbon deposits. Content Providers(s): CDC/Dr)
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File:Emphysema H and E.jpg

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From english wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Emphysema_H_and_E.jpg

Image is of H&E (haematoxylin and eosin) stained lung tissue sample taken from an end-stage emphysema patient. Cell nuclei are blue-purple, red blood cells are red, other cell bodies and extracellular material are pink, and air spaces are white.

Original image appeared in "T Cells Cause Lung Damage in Emphysema". PLoS Med 1(1): e25.

 

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attribution		 This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.  
 
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current 10:18, 2 August 2006 Thumbnail for version as of 10:18, 2 August 2006 528×393(102 KB) Wars (The image was transferred from en.wiki (en:Image:Emphysema H and E.jpg) under the '''<nowiki>{{cc-by-2.0}}</nowiki>''' license tag. ~~~~ )
  12:53, 28 November 2005 Thumbnail for version as of 12:53, 28 November 2005 528×393(102 KB) Snek01 (From english wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Emphysema_H_and_E.jpg Image is of H&E (haematoxylin and eosin) stained lungtissue sample taken from an end-stage emphysema patient. C)
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File:Bullus emphasemaCT.png

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[edit]Summary

Description
English: Bullus emphysema as seem on CT
Date  
Source

Own work
Author

James Heilman, MD
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GNU head Permission is granted to copy, distribute and/or modify this document under the terms of the GNU Free Documentation License, Version 1.2 or any later version published by the Free Software Foundation; with no Invariant Sections, no Front-Cover Texts, and no Back-Cover Texts. A copy of the license is included in the section entitled GNU Free Documentation License.

 
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current 19:46, 6 December 2010 Thumbnail for version as of 19:46, 6 December 2010 1,019×772(497 KB) Jmh649 ({{Information |Description={{en|1=Bullus emphysema as seem on CT}} |Source={{own}} |Author=James Heilman, MD|Date= |Permission= |other_versions= }} Category:Medicine)
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File:Emphysema low mag.jpg

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[edit]Summary

Description
English: Low magnification micrograph of emphysema. H&E stain.

 

The left of image shows severe emphysema (large empty spaces). The lung tissue on the right of the image has relative preservation of the alveoli. The top of the image is very near the pleural surface.
Date  
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Author

Nephron
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GNU head Permission is granted to copy, distribute and/or modify this document under the terms of the GNU Free Documentation License, Version 1.2 or any later version published by the Free Software Foundation; with no Invariant Sections, no Front-Cover Texts, and no Back-Cover Texts. A copy of the license is included in the section entitled GNU Free Documentation License.

 
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current 03:15, 1 October 2009 Thumbnail for version as of 03:15, 1 October 2009 3,288×1,979(962 KB) Nephron ({{Information |Description={{en|1=Low magnificationmicrograph of '''emphysema'''. H&E stain. Category:Pulmonary pathology Category:Micrograph}} |Source={{own}} |Author=Nephron |Da)
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File:Flow-volume-loop.svg

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File:Flow-volume-loop.svg

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Example.jpg== Summary ==

Description

Flow-Volume Loop Graph from Lung Function Tests (Spirometry)
Source

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Flow-volume-loop.png
Date

07:23, 22 April 2010 (UTC)
Author

Silvermask, vectorized by brady8
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(Reusing this file)

GFDL
Other versions http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Flow-volume-loop.png

Vectorized, and corrected some of the inaccurate labels.

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GFDL Permission is granted to copy, distribute and/or modify this document under the terms of theGNU Free Documentation License, Version 1.2 or any later version published by the Free Software Foundation; with no Invariant Sections, no Front-Cover Texts, and no Back-Cover Texts.
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The relicensing status of this image needs to be manually reviewed by an experienced user. You can help.		 Licensing update unknown

The area which is tagged as FEV1 in this image is not correct, because it is a flow vlume curve. Actually FEV1 in this image should be more close to FVC

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current 03:49, 13 October 2010 Thumbnail for version as of 03:49, 13 October 2010 833×733(136 KB) Mikael Häggström(talk | contribs) (Removed FEV1 - this is a flow-volume loop - not a flow-time loop, and, therefore, FEV1 cannot be calculated this way.)
  07:23, 22 April 2010 Thumbnail for version as of 07:23, 22 April 2010 833×733(136 KB) Brady8(talk | contribs) ({{Information |Description = Flow-Volume Loop Graph from Lung Function Tests (Spirometry) |Source = http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Flow-volume-loop.png |Date = ~~~~~ |Author = Silvermask |Permission = GFDL |other_)

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File:Atatchy.png

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Description
English: antitrypsin and antichymotrypsin, appropriately labelled
Date

11 March 2007
Source

English Wikipedia en:Image:Atatchy.png
Author

Jcwhizz
Permission
(Reusing this file)
Public domain This work has been released into the public domain by its author, Jcwhizz. This applies worldwide.
In some countries this may not be legally possible; if so:
Jcwhizz grants anyone the right to use this work for any purpose, without any conditions, unless such conditions are required by law.

 

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current 09:47, 22 February 2008 Thumbnail for version as of 09:47, 22 February 2008 516×357(112 KB) Eran ({{Information |Description={{en|antitrypsin and antichymotrypsin, appropriately labelled}} |Source=English Wikipedia en:Image:Atatchy.png |Date=11 March 2007 |Author=Jcwhizz |Permission={{PD-user|Jcwhizz|en}} |other_versions= }} )
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File:SmogNY.jpg

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  • Description: Smog à New York
  • Smog in New York City. This image is in the public domain.
  • Auteur : Dr. Edwin P. Ewing, Jr.
  • Date:(1988)
  • Description:View of Manhattan from top of World Trade Center. Air pollution. Foreground: Brooklyn Bridge.
  • Trouvé sur : http://phil.cdc.gov/phil/ (id=1523)
  • Source: French Wikipedia, original upload 22 août 2004 by Cham

 

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current 18:42, 19 November 2005 Thumbnail for version as of 18:42, 19 November 2005 659×429(33 KB) Saperaud (*'''Description:''' '''Smog à New York''' * Smog in New York City. ''This image is in the public domain.'' * Auteur : Dr. Edwin P. Ewing, Jr. * Date:(1988) * Description:View of Manhattan from top of World Trade Center. Air pollution. Foreground: Brookly)
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Web Images Videos Maps News Shopping Gmail more Sign in Screen reader users, click here to turn off Google Instant. Google Instant is off ▼ Advanced search About 29,800 results (0.08 seconds) Search Results Debbie Soodak - Brooklyn, NY | MyLife™ Looking for Debbie Soodak? Look no further than MyLife™. Use our people search tool to reconnect with Debbie and other old friends. www.mylife.com/debbiesoodak - Cached Debbie Soodak @ MyLife.com Find Debbie Soodak @ MyLife.com. Use our new people search engine to find ... www.mylife.com/people-search/debbie-soodak - Cached Debbie Soodak - Brooklyn, NY | MyLife™ Get in touch with Debbie Soodak of Brooklyn by using our advanced people ... www.mylife.com/debbie-soodak - Cached Show more results from mylife.com Deborah Soodak Peepl Pipl People Search - Pipl - People Search ... Nov 7, 2010 ... via pipl.com Devorah Zealot Soodak, nee Deborah Ellen Soodak, aka Debbie Soodak, isn't quite sure what to make of these folks. psychout.typepad.com/.../deborah-soodak-peepl-pipl-people-search-pipl- people-search.html - Cached Debbie Soodak - Brooklyn, NY | MyLife™ - PSYCH OUT! Escape From ... Nov 7, 2010 ... Register for FREE at MyLife to find Debbie Soodak or meet Debbie Soodak. Membership lets you view a full Debbie Soodak profile, which can ... psychout.typepad.com/.../debbie-soodak-brooklyn-ny-mylife.html - Cached PSYCH OUT! Escape From the Lunacy Of the New York State Office Of ... Devorah Zealot Soodak, nee Deborah Ellen Soodak, aka Debbie Soodak, says: Hello from the Gross Out Hotel! I'm surviving, but I won't last to long in this ... psychout.typepad.com/blog/ Devorah Zealot Soodak, nee Deborah Ellen Soodak, aka Debbie Soodak ... Jan 8, 2011 ... Devorah Zealot Soodak, nee Deborah Ellen Soodak, aka Debbie Soodak, says: Happy not so new year everyone. Mine hasn't been very happy so far ... psychout.typepad.com/.../devorah-zealot-soodak-nee-deborah-ellen-soodak- aka-debbie-soodak-says-happy-not-so-new-year-everyone-jewish-fe... - Cached Show more results from psychout.typepad.com Debbie Soodak - Pipl - People Search pipl.com/search/?FirstName=Debbie&LastName=Soodak... Henry Soodak : Define, Explore, Discuss Henry Soodak : Define, Explore, Discuss images, discuss, define, news. ... Devorah Zealot Soodak, nee Deborah Ellen Soodak, aka Debbie Soodak, ... www.museumstuff.com/learn/topics/Henry_Soodak - Cached Driving vs. Riding a Bicycle. | epilepsy.com 10 posts - 2 authors - Last post: Nov 2, 2010 P.S. My latest post: http://psychout.typepad.com/blog/2010/11/devorah-zealot- soodak-nee-deborah-ellen-soodak-aka-debbie-soodak-asks-what- ... www.epilepsy.com/node/992599 - Cached Everything Images Videos News Shopping More Philadelphia, PA 19107 Change location Search Options Show search tools 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Next Search Help Give us feedback Google Home Advertising Programs Business Solutions Privacy About Google

 

Posted by on Thursday, 17 February 2011 at 14:09 in Blog Watch, Carpe Diem, Civil Rights, Deb Soodak, Debbie Soodak, Deborah Ellen Soodak, Deborah Soodak, Dev Soodak, Devorah Soodak, Devorah Zealot Soodak, Devorah Zealot Soodak Nee Deborah Ellen Soodak AKA Debbie Soodak, DJ Jaffe NAMI Treatment Advocacy, Employment Jobs, Epilepsy, Epilepsy Diagnosis, Exodus, Freedom Watch, Google Cache Watch, Herbert Pardes, Human Rights Watch, Human Traffic, Insurance, Jobs Google Search Watch, Marckle Foundation, New York City Watch, New York Office of Mental Health, New York Presbyterian Watch, New York State Office of Mental Health, New York State Office of Mental Health Jobs, New York State Office of Mental Health Police, New York State OMH Google Search Watch, New York State Psychiatric Institute Watch, New York State Watch, NY Office of Mental Health Google Search Watch, NY Presbyterian Google Search Watch, NYC Google Search Watch, NYS Office of Mental Health Watch, NYS OMH Google Search Watch, NYS OMH Police Google Search Watch, NYS OMH Watch, NYSPI Google Search Watch, Photo Google Search Watch, Posts With Pictures, Soliloquies, Soodak Google Search Watch, Temporal Lobe Epilepsy, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, The Thought Police, TLE Temporal Lobe Epilepsy, Zealot Google Search Watch |

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Devorah Zealot Soodak

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Devorah Zealot Soodak

Posted by: Devorah Zealot Soodak | Thursday, 17 February 2011 at 14:14

Meredith

I'm very sorry about the diagnosis. It would be depressing news under any circumstances but given your living situation, it must be overwhelming. My housemate was diagnosed with COPD, although not of the emphysema variety, and I've seen what's happened to him. He's been going to the hospital when it gets really bad, which is costing him a fortune that he doesn't have, but they won't let him have an oxygen tank yet.

I'm allergic to smoke, so I can imagine just a little how horrible it must be for you there. Surely there must be people looking for housemates in Philadelphia? Given your financial circumstances, that would seem to make the most sense, and plenty of people who are renting out a room don't check on prior rental history. I hate to think about you suffering in grime and gloom like this.

Posted by: Meredith | Thursday, 17 February 2011 at 21:07

Devorah Zealot Soodak

Meredith,

Thanks for your concern. It was a tough blow. I'm only starting to come to terms with it.

If I can get out of this smoky, dusty, dump, I'll probably be OK. I go out for awhile and I start to be able to breathe again. I come back, and I'm all stuffed up and I feel like I have bricks on my chest again. Even the open window doesn't help much.

I've been on Craigslist. Unfortunately, the housemate situations are almost all for young people. Very few for people our age. I've answered ads, but gotten no reply. I actually found something, but I don't have picture ID. I can't sign a lease without it.

I've been waiting for a bank statement to come in the mail so I can have proof of residence. It was supposed to come Tuesday or Wednesday. It didn't come today either, so tomorrow I call the bank and raise bloody hell. I can't get ID without it and I can't get a place to live without ID.

I am tired of everything being a fight. I'm just plain tired. I can't sleep because I can't breathe and not breathing is exhausting. My credit is a mess that I have to clean up; there's all sorts of stuff on my credit report that's not supposed to be there.

Ditto for the real estate check report they run. I don't know how much information the companies share, but there are several of them and at least one of them has incorrect information. I didn't get an apartment in New York because of that. Someone very kind left me a comment on the blog pointing me in the direction of one of these companies so at least I have a place to start to clean that up.

There are even apartments cheap enough for me to afford them alone. They are not in the "nice" neighborhoods, but I'm not picky. As long as it's a decent block I'm OK. I've lived in Harlem and Bed-Stuy and I never had a problem.

I have to see if I can go around to some of the neighborhoods and look in the stores for local shopper magazines. They usually have apartment listings and some supermarkets have bulletin boards where people post things.

I need to call the man who had the room for rent because he knows a lot of people who don't do heavy duty background checks and they might have apartments. It's just so hard to do all this when I'm sick. It's really a vicious cycle.

I just have to pray that I don't get too sick here to look for a place to live. I don't know how much longer I can hold out. I don't have a refrigerator or a microwave and I can't eat out. I haven't had a hot meal since I left the hospital.

I don't feel sorry for myself. It's very hard to be in this filthy, disgusting place, and not being able to breathe is literally killing me. I just have to try not to think about it and do what I have to do to get out of here. I needed some time just to deal with my feelings about the diagosis, but I'm dealing better with that now, so I think I'll be able to move on to other things.

I have to. If I stay here, I'll end up in the hospital. That would be really bad because New York State bilked all of my lifetime reserve days so I have no more inpatient hospitalization except for procedures. That's why I have to file charges. I have to get my days back. Oh well.

Baruch Hashem. Hoshia na.

Devorah Zealot Soodak www.psychout.typepad.com/ the zealot needs help!

P.S. Please click here to read my latest post.

P.P.S. Please click here to read my latest or last featured post.

P.P.P.S. I made a new video. Please watch it on YouTube.

P.P.P.P.S. I recorded a video and put it directly on Facebook! Please watch it!

Posted by: Devorah Zealot Soodak | Thursday, 17 February 2011 at 23:04

Devorah Zealot Soodak

Meredith,

Thanks. I've gotten pretty good at vetting sites. Some of them I don't like putting bare links to in the blog because they grab my search rankings. I may have to edit the comment if they do.

Some of these are mashup sites and are little more than excuses to sell advertising. I'm guessing the one in Philadelphia is affiliated with Temple University. The pulmonologist I'm seeing on Monday is affiliated with Jefferson University.

I've already been on the Fed's web site and Wikipedia and a few other of the first page result set. I gave Wikipedia a look because that's where I got the pictures for the blog. Some of their stuff is very good and some of it isn't so you have to be careful.

The "alternative" sites have to be vetted very carefully. I've found some amazingly good ones, but some of them are downright dangerous. There's some really crazy stuff out there. Unfortunately, the best ones I've found have been changed and they're not very good anymore. I wonder what happened to them and why.

After those pictures of diseased lung tissue, I'm giving it a rest for now. I'll wait and see what the pulmonologist has to say. I really appreciate your help and concern and I really appreciate the links. When I'm up to researching again, I will take a look. Right now I need to distract myself.

Of course, I say that now. By tomorrow, my curiosity may get the better of me and I'll be clicking away. Knowledge is power.

Take care.

Baruch Hashem. Hoshia na.


Devorah Zealot Soodak www.psychout.typepad.com/ the zealot needs help!

P.S. Please click here to read my latest post.

P.P.S. Please click here to read my latest or last featured post.

P.P.P.S. I made a new video. Please watch it on YouTube.

P.P.P.P.S. I recorded a video and put it directly on Facebook! Please watch it!

Posted by: Devorah Zealot Soodak | Friday, 18 February 2011 at 15:21

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