Devorah Zealot Soodak, nee Deborah Ellen Soodak, aka Debbie Soodak, had a bit of a misadventure in Philadelphia today. I went to PennDOT to get my state photo ID. Well, so I thought.
Yes I ran some searches. I have to find pretty pictures for the post. If you don't like the pictures, you can scroll down and read the rest of the story. But please, click the links and click the pics and have fun with the blog. You can finish the story after you play.
I love Google image searches. I think it's really cool how some of the pictures end up in the searches and how they get ranked. I really think I stumble on some really interesting things. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.
misadventure in philadelphia
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The search of the Wikipedia domain was really interesting, too. Maybe one day I'll base a post on one of these. It's a little more obvious what the connections are.
misadventure in philadelphia
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Here's the vanilla Google web search. This was actually a rather odd search. I just got distracted by the pictures from Wiki.
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The "freeze frames" are at the end of the post. They're fun to play with too. You can save that fun for when you're finished reading my story, which continues in the next paragraph.
Getting there was a trip. In every sense of the word. I used the not very good navigator on my Droid to get transit directions. I took the PATCO train. I don't think I'll be taking that train again soon.
I get to the station and there's no ticket clerk. That means I have to pay full fare. No biggie, it's $1.25 and half price on SEPTA is $1.00. A nice man helped me buy a ticket because this machine doesn't look anything like the ticket machines that I'm used to.
I get my ticket, have trouble figuring out how to get past the gate (it's not like anything I've every seen before), and manage to get on the right train. I'd bought a single fare so I discarded the ticket in a thoughtfully provided receptacle on the train platform. I got off the train and tried to leave the station. Tried.
It turns out you need the ticket to leave the station. I paid my fare and I was trapped. I hadn't quite figured that out yet, all I knew was I couldn't figure out how to get out through the gates. Someone told me to use the "courtesy phone."
So I did. I got an operator who asked if I had the ticket receipt. Well, maybe somewhere. How was I supposed to know I needed the ticket. "It says so on the machine." I still don't know where. "You'll have to buy an exit ticket." An exit ticket costs $2.70.
I freaked. I'm feeling really crappy because the guy is painting with Latex, sanding, and not cleaning up. I'm really allergic to Latex and I'm getting really sick. I couldn't believe that the trip was going to cost me almost $4.00 and I was feeling really trapped. I was so angry and upset I just started to cry.
There are some really nice people. A couple of guys saw me and one said, "Don't cry." He said to the buy closer to me still inside the gates, "Are you going to help her?" So the guy inside used his (I assume monthly) card and got me through. That was really nice of him.
Me and the not very good navigator managed to make it to PennDOT with only going a block (and back) out of my way. Of course I can't manage to key in address without making a mistake. All of those seizures I haven't been having haven't caused me to have the cognitive deficiencies I don't have. I realized my mistake and found my way to the correct address.
They don't take cash. Again, people were really nice. Someone waiting heard me asking about where to get a money order and told me there was a place almost across the street. It was only a buck for the money order, which isn't bad, and I was in and out in less than five minutes. That went well.
I went back, got the form to fill out, and took a number. The wait wasn't too bad. The lady working security (outsourced, St. Moritz Security) was German (I spoke to her, she had no clue that I was born here) and she said that she was a retired "International Policeman." I assume she meant Interpol. She was a bit odd.
I don't know how long I waited. I assiduously avoided looking at the time (there were no clocks). The numbers were being called quickly so it didn't seem too bad.
My turn came. I went to the counter. I presented my documentation. Rent receipts do not contitute proof of residence. Go figure.
I got upset. The man told me to go to a different counter and speak to his supervisor so I did. The man was really nice (another nice person!). He told me they only accept leases, but that any two pieces of mail would do except a cell phone bill.
I think that's really weird. I asked him can I mail myself something. He said yes. Huh. If it's that easy, how come you can't use a cell phone bill? The whole thing is just bizarre.
I don't see what kind of security that is. Anyone can send mail anywhere they know someone and just go pick it up. At work, I used to call that kind of security, job security because the only thing it secured was the job of the person who conned management into believing it.
It was too late to go to the post office. I don't have stamps and I'm still trying to keep Shabbos as much as I can. Yes, I know I'm writing, but after a struggle, I realized I have to write for my peace of mind. But I don't have to spend money so I'll wait 'til monday to buy envelopes and stamps. I'll get the letter by Tuesday or Wednesday and have my ID next week.
I took the bus home. I don't know if I want to take that cockamamie train again. I know what the problem with that train is. It goes to New Jersey and is part of New Jersey Transit.
So I'm back in my room with my eyes feeling like sandpaper choking on paint fumes and dust. I'm afraid to call the man who had the room I looked at. It's probably rented by now. I've got to find something before I get too sick or run out of money. It's never easy.
I know how to read. I read the online instructions really carefully. I'm not stupid. Apart from utility bills, they only mentioned three kinds of mail. A cell phone bill as being unacceptable or "official" mail being a magazine or a bank statement. If I had known it could be any mail, I would have mailed myself stuff weeks ago.
The same for those ticket machines. When I went back to the machine to see about buying and "exit ticket," I looked for where it said you needed your ticket to exit the station. I didn't see it. I wonder where it says that.
Maybe it's all of those cognitive deficiencies I don't have. Who knows. I'll get my ID next week. I'm just a little disappointed. I was so excited when the bank statement came in the mail.
I guess there are several morals to this story. Quite a few common cliches. Don't count your chickens before they're hatched, comes to mind. The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men
gang aft agley, is another. Oh well. Lessons learned.
Baruch Hashem. Hoshia na.
Devorah Zealot Soodak, née Deborah Ellen Soodak, aka Debbie Soodak
PSYCH OUT! Escape From the Lunacy Of the New York State Office Of Mental Health NYS OMH www.psychout.typepad.com/ 
P.S. Devorah/Zealot says: Hello! to her friends at OMH www.omh.state.ny.us/ and NJ DMHS www.state.nj.us/humanservices/dmhs/ and Jewish Family Service www.jfsatlantic.org/
P.P.S. Maybe the people at the Chilling Effects Clearinghouse could tell the demented epileptic lunatic zealot what's going on with her posts desaparecidos?
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"Media: The Misadventures of Mikey Miss". Philadelphia Magazine. http://www. phillymag.com/articles/media_the_misadventures_of_mikey_miss/page2. ...
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iPhone Misadventure Draws Laughs, For Now | NBC Philadelphia
Apr 27, 2010 ... Dilbert, Letterman and others are weighing in on the Apple prototype lost in a bar. But the comedy of errors may not have a funny ending.
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Devorah Zealot Soodak
Posted by: Devorah Zealot Soodak | Saturday, 26 February 2011 at 12:22