Devorah Zealot Soodak, nee Deborah Ellen Soodak, aka Debbie Soodak, has had it. I'm sorry guys. This is the closest I could come to a new post. A reply to a dear friend from epilepsy-dot-com.
For those of you interested in Robert Soodak, my late brother, I will try to get some information together for you. It will be difficult. It is a very painful subject and I was not informed until months later and not even given the date or details of his death.
So back to me and sloppy seconds from you know where. V******* is a friend. We have never met but through an over year long correspondence have gotten to know each other well. It seems that only fellow epileptics can understand each other.
Please remember to click those pictures. They are links to interesting things, just like text links. You'll miss half the fun if you don't bother.
V*******,
It's really wonderful to hear from you. I understand how you feel about the meds. I hate them too. Both the seizures and/or the meds can cause the irregular heartbeat so you should stop thinking paranoia and speak to your docs.
The feeling scared part sucks, but epilepsy is scary business. Tadzio and I are classic examples of how misdiagnosis and/or poor care can lead to very serious conditions. People used to call me a genius. Now they call me a moron.
I don't know if I'll ever recover what I lost. Zebinix was my last hope for a med that would work, but now that I'm sure I'm allergic to Tegretol and pretty sure I'm allergic to Trileptal, I don't think it's a possibility. The Keppra helps some, but the side effects are intolerable.
My new neuro says it's a good med and when you get the XR at the proper dose it can be, but the side effects were getting really bad and when the ER doctor added the benzo, it became intolerable.
I went down from Klonopin 1mg Q8 hours to Klonopin 0.5mg Q6 hours. As miserable as I feel, I actually feel better with less even though the withdrawal is physically painful. Klonopin never worked for me anyway except to make me sick and stupid so I'm not feeling any more anxious than I was before.
I was so anxious on the full dose of Klonopin I was screaming at people a the top of my lungs. I actually think I'm calmer now. I have a paradoxical response to certain benzos. Xanax makes me bonkers. I bounce around like a hand ball in a hand ball court only there's nobody in there with a paddle.
You are really lucky to have good docs and that really good nurse. I am praying for same. Hashem took care of me with my primary. She is a really good doc with an incredible reputation. That's a good thing.
And this neuro seems really good. He hates benzos as much as I do. He won't prescribe them. I told him I was in love. I had told him the first thing I wanted was off the benzos because they weren't helping and just making me sick. He was upset that I was taking them, but I told him the ER doc bullied me into taking the scrip.
Tomorrow I got to get kitted out for the home VEEG/AEEG. Should be quite a production. I am going broke from the $50 round trip to the neuro. One cab company tried to charge me $35 each way. I told the first driver before I got in the dispatcher said it was $25 and that was that.
On the return trip he gave me $5 instead of $15 change. I told him he'd better give me the other ten unless he wanted me to call 911. He muttered something to his wife or girlfriend in he front of the car (they are so stupid, I speak to them in French and they think I can't understand Hatian Creole) and then he caughed up the $10.
The cab companies here are all rip offs. The say the are metered, but I've yet to see a meter in a car or get a receipt. I'm going to start asking for receipts. They are tax deductible medical expenses. I'll see how the drivers react then.
Maybe it's because the passage of time dulls the memory (but not for those of us with TLE), but I feel worse right now than I ever remember feeling. I've been terrified, sad, angry, all of that, but right now all if feel is pain. Physical and emotional pain and phyiscal and emotional exhaustion.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't think it's just the epilepsy anymore. I think it's worse. I'm praying it's the side effects of the meds. I'll see if it's tolerable once I'm off the Klonopin.
The Keppra made me very weak, but I could deal. Now I can hardly walk ten feet. I used to swim the length of an Olympic pool under water in one breath. I used to carry sixty pounds of groceries sixty city blocks. I weigh less than 100 lbs. I feel like I'm dying.
I'll find out the results of the sleep deprived EEG tomorrow. I know I had at least one Jacksonian seizure during, by the sound of the keyboard, there were more events than that. I'll know soon enough.
All the best. I'm like you. I want life without pills. I'm ready for VNS at this point. That's how much I hate the pills. Even if my seizures did have well defined focii, I don't think I'd consider surgery.
VNS is dangerous because the FDA don't have the budget to properly monitor the equipment. They get all the blame, but I've spoken to them and they just don't have the budget to do the little that they are allowed to do to protect the American Public.
They actually want to do more. They really want people to file adverse event reports because they know doctors don't do it. It's a terrible situation.
Speaking of Adverse Event Reports, I should file one for the Klonopin. One more thing I don't have the strength to do.
I'm rambling. It's great to her from you. I pray that you will soon be feeling better. I think of you often. My life would not be the same had you not started the E Szs forum.
Baruch Hashem. Hoshia na.
Devorah Zealot Soodak www.psychout.typepad.com/ the zealot needs help!
P.S. Please click here to read my latest post.
P.P.S. Please click here to read my latest or last featured post.
P.P.P.S. I republished this post. It is very important. Please read it.
By on Mon, 01/03/2011 - 2:19am
via epilepsy.com
Baruch Hashem. Hoshia na.
Devorah Zealot Soodak, née Deborah Ellen Soodak, aka Debbie Soodak
PSYCH OUT! Escape From the Lunacy Of the New York State Office Of Mental Health NYS OMH www.psychout.typepad.com/ 
P.S. Devorah/Zealot says: Hello! to her friends at OMH www.omh.state.ny.us/ and NJ DMHS www.state.nj.us/humanservices/dmhs/ and Jewish Family Service www.jfsatlantic.org/
P.P.S. Maybe the people at the Chilling Effects Clearinghouse could tell the demented epileptic lunatic zealot what's going on with her posts desaparecidos?
Please click here to leave a comment and join my conversation.
You can click this weird looking thing if you want to join someone else's conversation, but please click my link above. Thanks.
File:Waterhouse-gather ye rosebuds-1909.jpg
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Size of this preview: 505 × 600 pixels
Full resolution (716 × 850 pixels, file size: 199 KB, MIME type: image/jpeg)
This is a file from the Wikimedia Commons. Information from its description page there is shown below.
Commons is a freely licensed media file repository. You can help.[edit]Summary
Artist
[show]John William Waterhouse (1849–1917) Title Date 1909
Medium Oil on canvas
Dimensions 100 × 83 cm (39.37 × 32.68 in)
Current location Private collection
Source/Photographer Please edit this file's description and provide a source.
Permission
(Reusing this file)PD-Art
[show]John William Waterhouse (1849–1917) [edit]Licensing
This is a faithful photographic reproduction of an original two-dimensional work of art. The work of art itself is in the public domain for the following reason:
This image (or other media file) is in the public domain because its copyright has expired.
This applies to the United States, Australia, the European Union and those countries with a copyright term of life of the author plus 70 years.
Note that a few countries have copyright terms longer than 70 years: Mexico has 100 years, Colombia has 80 years, and Guatemala and Samoa have 75 years. This image may not be in the public domain in these countries, which moreover do not implement the rule of the shorter term. Côte d'Ivoire has a general copyright term of 99 years and Honduras has 75 years, but they do implement the rule of the shorter term.
Afrikaans | Alemannisch | Ænglisc | العربية | Asturianu | Беларуская (тарашкевіца) | Български | Català | Česky | Dansk | Deutsch | Ελληνικά |English | Esperanto | Español | Eesti | Euskara | فارسی | Suomi | Français | Gaeilge | Galego | עברית | हिन्दी | Magyar | Հայերեն | Bahasa Indonesia |Italiano | 日本語 | 한국어 | Kurdî | Lietuvių | Latviešu | Македонски | മലയാളം | Bahasa Melayu | Malti | Plattdüütsch | Nederlands | Norsk (nynorsk) | Norsk (bokmål) | Polski | Português | Português do Brasil | Română | Русский | Sámegiella | Slovenčina | Slovenščina | Shqip | Српски / Srpski | Svenska | ไทย | Türkçe | Vèneto | Tiếng Việt | 中文 | 中文(简体) | 中文(繁體) | 粵語 | +/−
This file has been identified as being free of known restrictions under copyright law, including all related and neighboring rights. The official position taken by the Wikimedia Foundation is that "faithful reproductions of two-dimensional public domain works of art are public domain, and that claims to the contrary represent an assault on the very concept of a public domain". For details, seeCommons:When to use the PD-Art tag.
Please be aware that depending on local laws, re-use of this content may be prohibited or restricted in your jurisdiction. SeeCommons:Reuse of PD-Art photographs.
This photographic reproduction is therefore also considered to be in the public domain.
العربية | Беларуская (тарашкевіца) | Български | Català | Česky | Deutsch | Ελληνικά | English | Español | Eesti | فارسی | Suomi | Français | עברית | Magyar | Հայերեն |Bahasa Indonesia | Italiano | 日本語 | 한국어 | Македонски | മലയാളം | Plattdüütsch | Nederlands | Polski | Português | Română | Русский | Slovenščina | Српски / Srpski | Basa Sunda | Svenska | ไทย | Türkçe | Українська | Vèneto | Tiếng Việt | 中文 | 中文(简体) | 中文(繁體) | +/−
[edit]External link
File history
Click on a date/time to view the file as it appeared at that time.
Date/Time Thumbnail Dimensions User Comment current 19:49, 12 June 2005 716×850(199 KB) Ranveig ("Gather ye rosebuds while ye may", 1909, by John William Waterhouse (1849-1917) {{PD-age}} category:John William Waterhouse category:1909) File links
The following pages on the English Wikipedia link to this file (pages on other projects are not listed):Global file usage
The following other wikis use this file:
- Usage on br.wikipedia.org
- Usage on ca.wikipedia.org
- Usage on de.wikipedia.org
- Usage on en.wiktionary.org
- Usage on es.wikipedia.org
- Usage on fr.wikipedia.org
- Usage on it.wikipedia.org
- Usage on nn.wikipedia.org
- Usage on no.wikipedia.org
- Usage on simple.wikipedia.org
- Usage on tr.wikipedia.org
- Usage on zh.wikipedia.org
File:Yvoire cadran solaire.jpg
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Size of this preview: 450 × 600 pixels
Full resolution (2,112 × 2,816 pixels, file size: 2.04 MB, MIME type: image/jpeg)
This is a file from the Wikimedia Commons. Information from its description page there is shown below.
Commons is a freely licensed media file repository. You can help.[edit]Summary
Description
Latina: CARPE DIEM
Date juin 2006
Source Author aewolf from Denver
Permission
(Reusing this file)
This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Genericlicense.
- You are free:
- to share – to copy, distribute and transmit the work
- to remix – to adapt the work
- Under the following conditions:
- attribution – You must attribute the work in the manner specified by the author or licensor (but not in any way that suggests that they endorse you or your use of the work).
This image was originally posted to Flickr by aewolf athttp://flickr.com/photos/38873000@N00/327950763. It was reviewed on 09:47, 9 June 2007 (UTC) by theFlickreviewR robot and confirmed to be licensed under the terms of the cc-by-2.0. Reviewer File history
Click on a date/time to view the file as it appeared at that time.
Date/Time Thumbnail Dimensions User Comment current 17:43, 8 June 2007 2,112×2,816(2.04 MB) Markus3 (== Description == {{Flickr |description=Yvoire (Haute-Savoie, France) <small>(A la date de l'import depuis ''Flickr'' par Marc ROUSSEL, l'auteur n'avait ni légendé ni commenté sa photo.) |flickr_url=http://www.flickr.com/photos/aewolf/327950763/ |title) File links
The following pages on the English Wikipedia link to this file (pages on other projects are not listed):Global file usage
The following other wikis use this file:
- Usage on ar.wikipedia.org
- Usage on br.wikipedia.org
- Usage on ca.wikipedia.org
- Usage on cs.wikipedia.org
- Usage on da.wikipedia.org
- Usage on de.wikipedia.org
- Usage on eo.wikipedia.org
- Usage on es.wikipedia.org
- Usage on eu.wikipedia.org
- Usage on fi.wikipedia.org
- Usage on fr.wikipedia.org
- Usage on fr.wikiquote.org
- Usage on gl.wikipedia.org
- Usage on hr.wikipedia.org
- Usage on id.wikipedia.org
- Usage on it.wikipedia.org
- Usage on ja.wikipedia.org
- Usage on ko.wikipedia.org
- Usage on la.wikipedia.org
- Usage on mk.wikipedia.org
- Usage on nl.wikipedia.org
- Usage on pt.wikipedia.org
- Usage on ro.wikipedia.org
- Usage on ru.wikipedia.org
- Usage on simple.wikipedia.org
- Usage on sr.wikipedia.org
- Usage on sv.wikipedia.org
- Usage on tr.wikipedia.org
- Usage on uk.wikipedia.org
- Usage on vi.wikipedia.org
Metadata
This file contains additional information, probably added from the digital camera or scanner used to create or digitize it. If the file has been modified from its original state, some details may not fully reflect the modified file.
Camera manufacturer NIKON Camera model COOLPIX S4 Exposure time 5/1,338 sec (0.0037369207772795) F-number f/4 ISO speed rating 50 Date and time of data generation 11:14, 5 June 2006 Lens focal length 18.9 mm Show extended details
x
x
Sign in or fill in the requested information. It's really easy. I promise I'll answer.
Thanks.
Devorah Zealot Soodak
Posted by: Devorah Zealot Soodak | Monday, 03 January 2011 at 03:57
Hi Zealot,
Do you mean the article at http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1438886/posts for "Death in CMC psych unit probed (too much sedation?)"?
I couldn't get the link to work for the August 2008 article.
In an attempt to cut-back on medical expenditures overall, I wonder if Alzheimer's and Mental Disorders aren't going to be game pieces to deflect everyone from pursuing expensive physical treatments, while also working as a "helpful" punishment treatment to discourage Baby-Boomers from seeking extensive medical care, as they will be largely DSM'ed, pilled and billed, then dumped. And with any more trouble, they'll get a taste of the restraints or the chair, then institutionalized if they don't quickly learn to avoid seeking expensive medical care, that will otherwise be in very short supply.
Most everyone will try to deny intractable epilepsy once the "Shock: The Healing Power of Electroconvulsive Therapy" By Kitty Dukakis, Larry Tye (2007) is recommended for encouragement: http://books.google.com/books?id=WygfFfFnVCkC&pg=PT102&dq=ect+treats+epilepsy&hl=en&ei=QyFRTbbiNo-8sQPT_7m_Bg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=3&sqi=2&ved=0CEkQ6AEwAg#v=snippet&q=epilepsy%20fascinated&f=false (There is a new journal article about the new and improved machinery for just the right jolts to cure epilepsy, but I misplaced it).
Maybe my brittle-brains and "just mainly" migraines will protect me from such wonder, but I'll probably get only generics by July if the fear of emergency expenses wears thin with the bureaucracy.
I was back to being "zero users online" at epilepsy-dot-com, and blocked by spam filters for about 12 hours now. Is epilepsy, "resources", the CFR, and SSI is too dangerous to the mark?
Lots of Love,
Tadzio
Posted by: Tadzio | Tuesday, 08 February 2011 at 16:58
Tadzio,
Try this link instead: http://www.psychiatry.info/category/psychiatric-treatment/psychiatric-restraints-and-hospitalization/ Google his name when you're done. I knew him well. Notice the hospital is in Scranton, PA. Or try this: Try this link instead: http://www.psychiatry.info/deaths-caused-by-psychiatry/man-dies-in-psychiatric-hospital-after-being-sedated-and-restrained/
I see that you got caught in the same pork products worm hole as I did. What is really strange is how the potty trap keeps changing it's mind about what is spam and what is not.
Do you remember the new names I gave to two of our favorite people who administer this site [epilepsy-dot-com]? The potty trap won't let me post them. Lets see if I can talk about the Ring Master of Barnes and Bailey Circus or epilepsy, how helpless am I [RingMaster or epi-helpless].
The article I was talking about wasn't bingo. It was the one where my friend died in CMC in Scranton, PA, after having been sedated and restrained. That bugs the hell out of me for a lot of reasons, not the least of them being that he'd gotten his life together to the point where he owned property.
The push to psych is pill pushing, notably the new and extremely expensive Atypical Antipsychotics. Seroquel is the most profitable drug ever and Astro-Zeneca don't care whom they kill with it. I think they must be giving out stock in the company. I was really wondering for awhile why the State Bins in New Jersey prescribe brand name Seroquel XR. I did a little reading and I stopped wondering.
So this isn't about saving money. It's about where the money will go. The answer to that is simple. It goes to the highest bidder.
I don't see how adding inpatient psych beds and outpatient treatment facilities is going to save money. It's another contractor windfall. Psychiatry is a lucrative new frontier where nonsense reigns and patient abuse runs rampant. Patients either don't have the resources to advocate for themselves or if they do, they end up like me. In deep doo doo.
My asthma is going off the charts. I had an emergency medical appointment this morning and got a new rescue inhaler, a chest X-ray, and orders to go next week and have my thyroid levels tested. Jefferson have a Family Medicine practice that is part of their teaching hospital so it is staffed by attendings and residents. The resident was good and I liked the attending who came to finish up the visit. I didn't realize how much I needed the inhaler until I used it. I hate the albuterol, but I felt godawful without it.
I complained about the construction dust and the impending painting to the manager. He's quite a guy. He started giving me some nonsense I just hurled it back at him. Finally he said to me, "I'm an alpha male and you're an alpha female and we're not going to agree on anything." I replied, "You're right about that except that this is one thing we agree on." I laughed and I said, "It's a good thing you have a sense of humor." He said, "I have to I'm in the Hotel business. I'm afraid that's agreement point number two.
He said he'd ask the guy to clean up better after he finished. We'll see. They start the latex paint before the weekend. I'm praying that I don't end up in the ER. I am going to insist that the hall window be opened while he's painting or maybe I'll just open it myself. I told him I don't want to end up in the ER. I don't think he wants me to either and not because he likes me.
Speaking of censorship, I ran a couple of searches about patient abuse, notably psychiatric patient abuse. Do you remember my blog posts on that subject? Google Scholar is still up top with the usual unwanted results about alcohol and substance abuse, but the search results are about abuse of patients, not the other way 'round. I wonder if my posts had anything to do with that or it was something "in the air?" I will probably never know.
People are still pushing ECT. Guess who do research on that? NYSPI! Where Columbia Presbyterian meets the New York State Office of Mental Health in the Herbert (pervert) Pardes building. Nice piece of river front real estate, that. It is not as damaging as it used to be, but it is still frying. The fryage is just more targeted making it look more and more like the psycho surgery with which I equate it. The results aren't as dismal and I've actually seen some people do well in the short term. SHORT TERM!
As to the epilepsy benefits paradox, I'm not quite sure what to tell you. A label of mental defective taints all things. Mentally ill, mental defectives and epileptics. That's the wording of the old New York State Law:
§ 91.01 Laws repealed.
Chapter four hundred twenty-six of the laws of nineteen hundred nine,
entitled "An act relating to the mentally ill, mental defectives and
epileptics, constituting chapter twenty-seven of the consolidated laws",
and all acts amendatory thereof and supplemental thereto are hereby
REPEALED.
Baruch Hashem. Hoshia na.
Lots of Love,
Devorah Zealot Soodak www.psychout.typepad.com/ the zealot needs help!
P.S. Please click here to read my latest post.
P.P.S. Please click here to read my latest or last featured post.
P.P.P.S. I recorded a video and put it directly on Facebook! Please watch it!
Posted by: Devorah Zealot Soodak | Wednesday, 09 February 2011 at 01:07